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Learning To Let Go: Harsh Memories
By Alexis Pryce

Spoilers: Billy
Rating: R

The sun poured through a window, lighting her face. Winifred opened her pale brown eyes to the sunlight, squinting as her eyes adjusted. With a yawn, she crawled out of bed and walked slowly towards her small yet comfortable bathroom.

After a long, hot shower, Fred descended the winding staircase of the Hyperion hotel towards the lobby. Cordelia looked up from her work.

"Hey, Fred. Sleep well?" She smiled briefly.

Fred ran a hand through her long, curly brown locks. "No, not really. I've just been so worried about--"

Wesley stepped into the hotel, his eyes looking weary from a week or so without sleep. Fred's words just stopped coming as soon as she caught a glimpse of him.

Wesley walked into the room wordlessly and set his briefcase down on an unoccupied desk. "Good Morning." He said quietly, to no one in particular.

"Morning Wes..." Cordelia said cheerfully as she sent a knowing glance towards Fred. "Can I get you some coffee?"

Fred hurried towards the coffee maker, only to bump right into Wesley.

"Oops...sorry, Wesley." She smiled.

"No need to apologize," Wesley said, his language uneasy and his body language uncomfortable, "just a simple run-in." His eyes remained towards the floor.

"Good Morning, all!" Gunn said as he entered with a bright smile. The lump on his head still hadn't disappeared.

Wesley raised his eyes for one moment to look at Gunn. Fred noticed the scratches on his face and the bruise on the side of his head. She remained silent.

The conference room was dark in spite of the bright morning. The windows had been blocked with heavy curtains in anticipation of another employee.

"So," Cordy said, putting her coffee down, "not much has really happened since you've been gone, Wes, but we sure are glad to have you back. I'm not really a boss-type person."

"Thank you." Wesley nodded, placing his glasses upon his nose. "I'm glad to be back."

Fred nervously wrung her hands, tugging at her delicate fingers. She had so many confusing thoughts running through her mind, so many painful memories of the week before as Wesley chased her down a hallway, screaming hateful things at her. It was almost more than she could bear to remember, but she still retained the three most powerful memories of the week past. She remembered that this man who chased her was not Wesley, but an extension of Billy. A terrible creature who hated women. She remembered hearing his sobs as he slumped against the door, crying after what he had done, vowing that he'd never forgive himself. Most of all, Fred remembered the feeling of Wesley's lips against hers. They sent a powerful shock through her body. Even though it wasn't him, she wished to have that sensation once again, to know Wesley as something more than a friend, a co-worker.

"Fred?" Cordy asked.

"What?" Fred finally came back to attention, looking up at the people around the table.

"Are you okay? You looked a little out of it." Cordy raised an eyebrow.

"I'm...I'm fine." Fred smiled. She looked over at Wesley to see him staring down at his feet, obviously blaming himself for Fred's strange behavior. "I just need...to think. That's all. Excuse me." She stood and walked from the conference room, bumping into a rather solid body on her way out. She looked up to see Angel.

"Was it something I said?" He smiled.

"No, not you, Angel. I'm just thinking, not paying attention. Have fun in your conference." She walked out into the lobby, taking a seat on the plush couch in the center of the room. Fred sighed, placing her head in her hands. She stared at the floor for a few moments before she began to cry.

Wesley stood feet away from her, not making a sound. Slowly, he walked towards her. He sat next to Fred, holding his hand just inches from her back. He wanted so badly to touch her, to hold her in his arms. He sighed. "Fred...I'm so sorry..."

"It's not you, Wesley. It's me." She sniffed.

Wesley offered his handkerchief. She took it and wiped her eyes slowly. "Fred...don't hide it if it's me. Please...I feel awful for what I did and I hope you'll just--"

"Wesley, it's me. There's these feelings I...I can't hide. My heart aches..." She began sobbing again.

Wesley stood up and brushed dust from his pants. "Oh...it's Angel then..." He started to walk away.

Fred shook her head with a sniffle. "No." She whispered. "I can't tell you right now...I just need to be alone." She ran up to her room, leaving Wesley alone in the hotel lobby.

Beaten, Wesley stuffed his hands in his pockets and retreated to the conference room. He was met by expecting eyes.

"What?" He asked.

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